When I was growing up, American Bandstand was always on in our house. I don’t remember most of the songs or the performances. But I remember this phrase:

It’s got a good beat, and you can dance to it.

Simple criteria, no? Not every song has to be profound; sometimes you just want to feel cooler than you are when you’re driving an SUV home from Costco.

I'll pull up with the bass bumping like I’m at Coachella. Might be Metallica, might be Weird Al.

Spotify has yet to figure me out.

Music is one of the oldest ways human beings connect. Get enough strangers together, and it's a party, no? However, the Super Bowl used to struggle with that.

In the early years, the halftime show was marching bands, drill teams, and an occasional production that was usually absolute ass.

(See: 1983 - 1992.)

Halftime was ‘bathroom and beer' time until 1993.

Michael Jackson took the stage and held the country in a visual chokehold until he closed with Heal the World, using the entire stadium crowd as part of the show.

It was the first time that the ratings went up at halftime, and the lightbulb came on over the collective NFL heads: this could be an event within the event.

But, as Captain America once said, people have agendas, and agendas change.

This Super Bowl had my family sitting in the living room, tearing into ribs like Vikings. Within minutes, my daughter and I were arguing about whether the Patriots suck.

Neither of us watches football - we were there for the commercials and halftime show. Still, we argued like Collinsworth and Tirico despite being unable to name three players on either team.

(I know Stefon Diggs, but only because of Cardi B.)

Let me preface my next section by stating that I watched both halftime shows because I believe in proper due diligence before submitting a written opinion.

This post is for subscribers only

Subscribe

Already Have an Account? Log In